Hi Sara

Thanks for the post. I know what you say is true. People keep telling me that it is not as bad as I think it is but yes you've guessed it, I don't believe them. I still don't know if I will make the party. I am completely exhausted at the moment. Everything seems such hard work. I don't know where this has come from. I have not been as down as this for a long time. Maybe it will go soon. I don't want to take any more drugs.

Thanks for caring

Love Sheila x

Hi Anne

I am so glad you enjoyed your holiday in Tenerife.

I am very interested to hear what you say about hair colour. I will call my hairdresser tomorrow and see what she says. I will feel better if I can have it coloured.

Do you know of anywhere that sells front fastening bras? I was amazed to discover that M & S have stopped selling them.

Thanks for caring

Love Sheila x

Hi Sheila

I'll have a look around for front fastening ones. There are some maternity bras that have clips at the front - and no doubt some for the 'elderly'!! I used to have some maternity ones - I presume it would mean looking among maternity wear. Mothercare doesn't exist round here... but I'm sure someone will be able to suggest something. I'll put a question up elsewhere about it.

Do check your hairdresser. Mine said hair falling out and going thin wouldn't be affected by hair colouring chemicals - and she's right so far (that's a year ago now!)

Take care.
Anne x

Hello Sheila

Hope you are feeling a little brighter today. Fingers crossed that you will be able to go to the party.

I think that we all think we know Prince William, we have watched him grow up right from being born. I remember when Diana died and I watched her funeral it was like a friend had died, never met her, yet it was like I knew her. Silly me I know but I couldn't help my feelings.

I know what you mean about not wanting to take anymore drugs. I get down sometimes and it crosses my mind about getting something but I just don't want to put any more meds into me.

Do ring up the helpline and ask about someone ringing you. It will be good for you to speak to someone who really understands how you are feeling.

Take Care

Love Paula xx

Hi Sheila,

You are not going nuts! Sometimes we can trot along (metaphorically of course) on a fairly even keel and then just one more thing can send us over the edge. I find its a bit like being a teenager again and having a bit of a tantrum, yes I was that screaming child on the floor of M&S. Now for me this tantrum can come and go quite quickly or not depending on how I'm feeling in myself and how quickly I can come to terms with the thing which caused the tantrum.

I'm not surprised that your hair loss is the last straw. Although we don't like it when people say how well we look when we're in pain, equally its important to look 'normal' so we're not treated in a partronising way. Example, I was in a right old state the other night at my dance class and had to stop. A well meaning friend said oh why don't you try it in bare feet, I bit her head off I'm afraid, crunching around in bare feet was the last thing I should have done!

So your hair is part of the 'normal' you and grieving its loss is perfectly understandable. I'm sure there's another huge pile of drugs you can try out which don't have this side effect. I'm pretty new to all this but from what I can glean the MTX can stop being so efficient after a while and your body just starts protesting. Get that rheumy appointment as soon as you can and your crowning glory could well return better than ever!

Good luck Sheila
Sara
x

Hi guys

I rang rheumatology this morning. No nurses in at all today????? One might ring me tomorrow if I'm lucky. So, I took the bull by the horns and I rang NRAS helpline. I spoke to a lady called Gail who was wonderful. I was on the phone for ages and she never sounded like she wanted to get rid of me, on the contrary she was extremely friendly, helpful and made a lot of sense. She helped me tremendously and advised me to get an urgent appointment for today with my GP. She thought, as lots of you have said, that I might need 'something' to get me through the medication transition.

I rang for an urgent appointment with my doc for 5pm tonight. You are not going to believe what happened next.......I went in to the drs room, sat down and to save her time I explained quickly what had happened with drugs etc over the past 6 months and that I was depressed, I couldn't stop crying, didn't want to see anyone or go out etc. (it took all of 2 minutes) She wrote everything down then said to me that this is an urgent appointment slot. It isn't for discussing things that have been going on for the last 6 months. If she had let me finish she would have discovered that I wanted help for the last 5 days not 6 months. I only explained the med cases since Christmas to save her time so she wouldn't need to keep asking me questions and to help her to decide what to give me. I just stood up and said 'you obviously don't want to be bothered with me and I walked straight out.

I have just finished writing a letter to her. I am furious. I thought doctors were supposed to help not make things worse. She could see how upset I was. I can't believe the way I was treated because I chose the wrong appointment time. I didn't even want to go in the first place.

Now I feel worse. I wish I hadn't gone.

Love moaning minnie x

Hi Sheila,

I can't believe what happened to you at the GP's !
I think you should ring the practise manager tomorrow and explain what happened at your appointment. Tell her how bad you are feeling and you need help and need to see another doctor in the practise.
Hopefully she will give you another appointment for tomorrow and you will get some help. It was disgraceful what that doctor said to you today. As you say, they are supposed to make things better, not worse and you have every right to complain about her.

Love Doreen xx

ohhhh Shelia,

really sorry to hear of your awful appointment. i would do exactly what Anne has suggested, stress how urgently you feel you need help.

i'm glad you did phone NRAS i think i have spoken to Gail.

i would also phone your GP Surgery tomorrow i know you have written and speak to the Practice Manager and tell them how upset you are and could you see a differernt GP as urgent today.

i am wondering whether a course of Anti Depressants might help you, i had to bite the bullet and i now take them, i think they go hand in hand with a Chronic Condition.

we are all here for you but you must get some medical help tomorrow,

sending Hugs your way and please post tomorrow we are all thinking of you,

Suzanne x

Hi Sheila

I really can t add to the others posts about the dreadful treatment by your GP, absolutely disgusting !

I hope you have had a better day today, thinking of you.

Julia x

P.S. I forgot to say that I have spoken to rheumy nurse today and she thinks it might be the mxt making me depressed. I have not to take it for 2 weeks and see if I improve.

Love Sheila x